The Princess and the Pea
by Li'ain
Summary: Prince Sasuke is holding a competition to find a wife and Jiraya hatches a scheme to get the royal gold. SasuNaru.AU. Oneshot.


A/N: Hey everyone, this is my first shounen-ai story so please go easy on me! Read and review.!

The Princess and the Pea!

"Are you ready, Naruto? "  
"How will this work?" Naruto looked in desperation at his pink fluffy gown. "The prince will never believe I'm a princess, perverted hermit!"  
The white haired man grew red with anger, "I took you in when you were just a little street urchin. I fed you, clothed you. It's payback time."  
"How is dressing like a woman going to pay you back?"  
"Well the prince is having a ball to find out which princess he should marry. You perform "sexy no jutsu" wear this dress, win the prince's heart marry him, take all his money, give it to me."  
"That's crazy. I can't marry a guy!"  
"Think of all you could buy with the gold from the royal treasury."  
Naruto stopped short. His mind raced through how much ramen one could get for the gold from the royal treasury. "Fine! Sexy no jutsu." The spiky blond haired boy became a long haired woman. "Good boy," smiled Jyra, "Have a good time!"

Prince Sasuke gave a deep sigh of boredom. He'd had to welcome all these surprisingly ugly girls. He stared in astonishment has a girl with long black hair and eyelashes the size of most peoples fingers grasped his hand. "Your highness. It's an honour. A huge honour." Sasuke disentangled himself from the odd looking girl and gave her a hard push through the doors. "Enjoy the ball."  
"Excuse me…em…your highness? I'm Princess Hinata. Em…" The girls face went bright red and she dashed away.  
"Well that was stupid! Wha the hell's the point in turning up if you're just gonna run away! Baka!" Sasuke turned to agree with the person and was surprised to see it was another princess. However, being a prince, he recovered quickly, "And you would be?"  
"My name's Naruto…ko."  
"Narutoko? That's an unusual name."

From a nearby hedge Jyra gave a groan. "He's gonna screw it up!Lucky I took precautions!"

Naruto made his way into the ballroom. He knew a few of these princess, like Sakura-hime. He'd loved her as a kid but the only time he talked to her she spat in his hair. Some of these princesses were completely unknown to him, though. "So you're the competition, eh?"  
Naruto turned to face a girl with mid-length blond hair and blue sparkling eyes. "em…well…I…that is"  
"She's not the competition, Ino-pig! I am."

Naruto bristled. He was the best at everything. Even winning guy's love. So there! "Oy! Sakura. I'm the only competition there is. None of you ugly girls can win the love of the prince except me! You are lucky to be looking at the future queen of this realm, Uzumaki Narutoko!"

Sasuke smirked at Narutoko's speech. She was the only one who seemed not to be putting on an act. He walked into the centre and cleared his throat, quietly, once. It was amazing the conversations of nearly 30 girls stopped instantaneously. As one they turned to face him. He sighed he was bored of this attention. He didn't feel any of them were worthy. "You all know why you are here. This party is to help me chose a bride. Dinner will be served directly and then there will be dancing. You may all stay here tonight. I will announce my decision in the morning."

The doors to the banqueting hall opened and unsurprisingly Narutoko was the first to rush in. She went and sat in Sasuke's throne. A flicker of annoyance passed across his usual calm face. He placed his hand on the lid of the ramen pot that the princess was frantically pulling towards her. "Excuse me, that's my seat, Narutoko-hime. You may sit somewhere else."  
"Eh? Oh I see. Well you should just give it to me, Usumaki Narutoko, the future queen of this realm."  
Sasuke leant in towards the stubborn girl putting his face extremely closed to hers. "You will never be queen of this or any other realm, dobe."  
Sasuke had the pleasure of seeing her cute little face blush before he felt hands surround his throat. "This is surely the way to win me for a husband," smiled Sasuke, gently trying to remove her hands. The princess was surprisingly strong. "Let me go!" he commanded in his most royal tone.  
"No," shouted Narutoko, "Not until you acknowledge me as queen and GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY RAMEN, BASTARD." There was a shocked silence but Sasuke merely grinned, "Tell you what have your ramen, but it looks a little cold let me warm it up for you. Katon Housenka no Jutsu!"

Naruto watched in horror as the prince blew fire on his precious ramen. There was a round of applause and Prince Sasuke gave a grin of satisfaction. "See, your highness, I'm not a weak little prince. I'm a strong leader and you are an insignificant brat."  
Naruto took the pot and looked into it the ramen was burnt! "I don't want it now," he said tossing it carelessly at Sasuke's head.

Sasuke stormed out of the room. After cleaning the ramen from his hair. He thought about her, Narutoko. No-one in their right minds would regard her as a delicate flower and yet she was the only one he had even a glimmer of interest in. He couldn't help but look forward to whatever she might do at the dance. Of course it was just because she amused him, probably.

The Queen marched over to her son, "Have you chosen yet?"  
Sasuke turned to his mother. She had long blond hair and wore a blue gown of exquisite silks. "No, mother. They are all horrible. I'd rather not choose any." The Queen reached out a hand and patted her son's head trying to convey her understanding. "Sasuke you must rule, now your father has died. In the constitution it says you must marry to assume your place as king. I need to see you are married to a suitable young lady before I pass away. We must be prepared ,in case anything happens." Sasuke gave a dutiful nod and went to get ready for the ball.

Naruto was nervous. He'd almost blown it back in the banqueting hall. The prince had leant so close and stared so intently Naruto had been sure he knew. "Stupid Prince," he grumbled.

The ballroom was like all ballrooms of the time. Huge and airy with chandeliers filled with candles creating a romantic light everywhere. Sasuke waited as the music began. Princes from neighbouring countries had come to dance as well. He saw Narutoko walk in. She seemed to have trouble walking in that dress.

"Narutoko-chan," smiled the princess Sakura, "You didn't bring another gown for the ball? Well looks like I was right about you not being real competition."  
"You mean I should've changed? What a fucking waste of time!"  
"Do you use that mouth to your royal parents, dobe?" asked Sasuke his tone one of gentle mocking. The other princess gave polite little titters apart from one with dark hair and lashes who actually guffawed. Sasuke's eyes flickered to her but turned back to Naruto again, "However in this instant I must agree. Would you give me a dance dobe princess?" he asked extending his arm out to Naruto. Naruto was about to graciously accept when his stomach gave an odd sort of gurgle. He could cope with a little indigestion he just wouldn't be able to hold the jutsu…oh…oh right.

Sasuke watched as Narutoko ran from the room clutching her stomach. Shy was she? Well at least he knew where he stood with this rather odd princess. Throughout the night he grew more bored as he danced with one idiotic girl after another. When Narutoko returned he quickly dispatched his current partner on a third cousin (or fourth uncle he wasn't sure.) and more or less ran to her. "You owe me a dance."  
"I guess," she grumbled.

Sasuke tried to lead but the Princess squirmed within his grasp and stood on his toes so he tried to follow but that was worse. They actually stopped moving at one point. He started at his partner, "Can't you even dance, dobe?"  
"Of course I can," she shouted and flung him into a wall. Sasuke blinked and looked into her worried face. It seemed to be saying something but he couldn't really make it out. "Are you okay, your highness?" The prince righted himself and nodded, "Interesting style of dance is all I can say."

The ball pretty much ended after that. The people gradually bid Sasuke good night and went into the parlour or to their rooms. Narutoko, interestingly enough went outside. The Queen approached, "Have you made your decision, yet."  
"Yes Mother, I choose Narutoko."  
"You mean that common loud guttersnipe of a princess!"  
"I do," replied Sasuke, "She's the only one who has even a smidgen of character."  
"By character do you mean lack of etiquette? What about that nice princess…what was her name?…Sakura?"  
"Mother," replied Sasuke in an exasperated voice, "Sakura tries too hard and she has no personality, seemingly except for her wish to marry me."  
"But Narutoko is hardly Queen material. She just lacks a royalness to her."  
"What would you have her do to prove herself, then?"  
"We could do the proven princess test. we'll give her one hundred mattresses and under all of these mattress will be a single pea. If she is of a princessy disposition," The queen gave a snort of disbelief, "she will not be able to sleep because of the single pea." Sasuke agreed to the test.

Naruto snuck stealthily into the garden. "Perverted her-mit," he called.  
"Shush!" Jyra stuck his head out of the nearest hedge. "How's it going? Do you think your winning?"  
"Em…"Naruto remembered the various incidents so far, "Maybe!"  
"You screwed it up, didn't you?"  
"No! I'll still win. No won can beat Usumaki Narutoko!"

Naruto headed to bed. He gasped as he saw how many mattresses were on it. "Rich people!" He scrambled up the ladder, thankful to be able to release his jutsu and fall deeply asleep.

Sasuke crept along the corridor until he was outside Narutoko's room. She was sleeping soundly and yet still managing to make the most awful racquet by snoring. He had to go in and make sure she complained about the pea. Sasuke pressed his hands to his ears and tiptoed into her room. He climbed the ladder and stared at a young boy's face! Though it was nearly pitch black in the room one bar of moonlight escaped the curtains andlit the sleeping face highlighting the cute features. Sasuke leant closer to get a better look but he felt suddenly that he needed to get closer and closer until…

"Arrrgh." The boy's eyes snapped open. "Who is that? Turn on the light?"  
"Shssh! It's me Sasuke!"  
"Who?"  
"It's okay. I just came to tell you, the queen expects you to complain tomorrow about a pea in your bed stopping you sleeping."  
"Are you like a servant or something?"  
"Well….I guess you could say that." It wouldn't be true but you could say it.

The boy rolled over and pulled back the quilt, "I guess you can get in then as you tipped me off. I've seen the servants quarters and they're pretty rank." Sasuke knew he should just go back to his own quarters and forget all about this guy but somehow he found himself getting in. The stranger gave a huge yawn and rolled over, "You know you should count yourself lucky to sleep in the same bed as Usumaki Naruto, future queen of this realm."

"Naruto, eh?" Sasuke smiled at the childish face. He lent down and let his lips brush upon the boy's soft cheeks. He then settled down and slept happily clutching on to the boy's slender waist.

Naruto woke up as daylight broke into his room. He'd had the weirdest dream something about needing to tell the queen he had to pee. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and gazed down at the sleeping form next to him. He gave a squeak of fright. Why was the prince in his bed? He had to get out and change. Gently he rolled the royal to the other side of the bed. He felt an odd rush as his hand touched the prince's firm chest. He must have let his hand rest a second too long though because the dark haired boy started to murmur in his sleep. Without a though for the consequences Naruto jumped down off the bed falling with a crash. He grabbed his pink dress and was about to put it on when-

"You shouldn't wear a dress. Being yourself suits you a lot better." Naruto reached for his orange jumpsuit instead, "I don't think you need to gain clothes little guy." said Sasuke pulling at Naruto's t-shirt. He was pleased to see the cute face turn red at his touch.Naruto was shocked wasn't this guy supposed to be picking a WIFE this morning and, "Why the hell were you in my bed?"  
Sasuke gave a grin of satisfaction, "You invited me, remember." Naruto was about to deny this when suddenly he remembered the servant last night. "I let that guy Sasuke in."  
"That is me. You didn't think my name was prince or your highness did you?" Naruto coloured making Sasuke laugh at loud,"No wonder the other princesses didn't acknowledge you as competition."

Naruto gave a groan and hung his head. Jyra would be mad and he wouldn't have ramen for weeks. Sasuke gave him a pat on the head which soon turned into out and out stroking of his hair. "We'll show them won't we Naruto?"  
Naruto looked up into the dark eyes. They seemed to be the only part of Sasuke's face that conveyed any emotion. Naruto felt they were challenging him. Naruto lent up and brushed his lips upon his challenger's lips. He was surprised by Sasuke's confident response. He felt a tongue lick his lips trying to gain entry. As he felt it slide in a rush of adrenalinne consumed his body. He'd never felt so happy, so excited and so secure all at once.

They broke apart panting slightly, both a little shocked at their daring. Sasuke grabbed at Naruto's hand clutching it within his own. "Maybe you should put something more on than boxers and a t-shirt, after all you are a princess." Sasuke teased. Naruto pulled on the jumpsuit carelessly throwing his dress out the nearest window.

The couple stepped into the banqueting hall. Sasuke walked to the front and addressed the hall. "Princesses from pretty much everywhere, I have enjoyed meeting each and everyone of you. It is therefore my sad duty to call of this contest. I have chosen but it is not a princess I have chosen."

The Queen gave a gasp from her throne. "It's Naruto-kun." Naruto rushed up.  
"He's gay." screamed Sakura. "After all that he's gay! I have never wasted my time so much."

Another of the princesses (the one with the long eyelashes.) stood up and tugged off her hair! "It's okay, your highness even if you are gay, you can have better than Naruto!" Naruto was shocked to see that under the wig had been his old friend Lee. "Lee what are you doing here?"  
"Jyra sent me. We were gonna split the gold from the royal treasury."

Another princess stood up, a rather fat one in fact and revealed him to be a local boy named Choji, "No! Me and Jyra were gonna buy more food than you can imagine." All the princess except Ino and Sakura stood up and started to argue about the deals Jyra had offered them.

Taking the opportunity Sasuke led Naruto out of the hall , ignoring his mother's angry requests for an explanation. "So, dobe will you stay here with me?"  
Naruto smirked, "On one condition."  
Sasuke paused from leading him up to the royal quarters and gave him a smile,"There'll be plenty of ramen."

**The next paragraph has been censored due to the stuff going on being considered unstuible for most ages.**

Notes: ko is an ending to girl's names normally in Japan  
-hime is asuffix used to address princesses  
This means Fire element, phoenix fire.

A/N:  
The Queen: But didn't I say he had to be married to be King.  
Li'ain: Well…your queen you can change the constitution.  
Sasuke: Wouldn't it have helped if she'd realised that a lot earlier?  
Li'ain: (kicks Sasuke.)Stop picking plot holes in my story! Please read and review.


End file.
